THE WAR IS OVER !?!?!?!!?

AH don't we wish!   It seems as if you can't turn on a news station or pick up a newspaper and not see the big bold headline " THE WAR IS OVER".   Sadly most people don't bother to read or listen further then the first few words and miss the most important part - In IRAQ!   The last time I, and I'm sure most you, checked things were still going strong in Afghanistan.  

Yes, the op tempo seems to have slowed down slightly, battalions, for the most part, are not on as a predictable schedule any longer. But... unless I've lost my mind, which after 3 years of this is entirely possible,  there's still quite a few of us either saying or gearing up to say our see you soon's to those faces we love so dearly. 

I have been stared at with complete dumbfounded expressions when I mention my Marine is making another trip to the big Ugly place. "Buuuut why? the war is over", is what I'm told with confusion written all over the face of the friend or acquaintance uttering that sentence.   Now - what a moment for me, part of me is ready to lash out at the person unfortunate enough to say this to me.  Then I remember, I am immersed in this life, I am privy to the comings and goings of units, I am tuned into the reality of what is put out there in the media is not necessarily truly reflecting what is happening.  Mostly I remember that a few short years ago I too was clueless to the reality of what was happening and bought in, pretty much hook, line and sinker, to the headlines.  I didn't know of this special underpinning of American society known as the military family.  That's not to say I was not well read in regard to the news of the day nor was I not well informed..  I just didn't take it further then - wow .. so the war is over great news!3  I think sometimes we forget how nice it was to be a bit ignorant of the realities of the military and how the bold headlines screaming great news, the TV running clips of Army soldiers reunited with their families did not necessarily tell the whole story.  

So what do I do when confronted with that maddening phrase - but the war is over?  I educated friends,  I don't get mad, indignant, insulted or annoyed.  I look at is as a teaching moment, a way to inform and pass on the word that NO the war is not over - just the war in Iraq is.   I share that the Marines, Sailors,Airmen and Soldiers are still leaving every day to fight in Afghanistan, that that war is going strong, still deadly and still requiring a constant supply of young men and women to support the efforts.     I see a lot of posting of people who are getting mad and lashing out at those who are ill informed -  so here's a suggestion, save the righteous indignation and use the moment, offer the person not only information but a way to help - tell them about making a donation to Semper Fi Sisters, Hope for the Warriors, Wounded Warrior Foundation, IAVA, Still in the Fight- tell them they can help out a military member by going to anysoldier.com or soldiersangels.com and make a difference in a young man or woman's deployment by showing their support via a care package.  You'll feel better for not getting your blood pressure up and, you'll probably find, the person you are talking to will be receptive.  We all are so aware of all these organizations but the average person has no idea they even exist.  Turn a bad moment into a wonderful opportunity.  How great is that? 

Rounding third....

and heading for home it's a brown, blue, green eyed handsome maaaaaannnnnn ( or woman ). 

There are few moments of sheer, unadulterated joy when part of a military family.   One is the day of boot camp graduation, the other the end of a deployment.    Both seem to make me want to dance.. and sing ... oh yes, that old song in the heart that just needs to come out...

One day you peek at your Donut of Misery and can't quite believe what it says... can it be ?  Time flashes back to the first day you install it, then open it up and bummer it says 0% gone and a loooooooong way to go to the end.   Personally, I treat it like a scale while on a diet, I don't look every day, there's little movement and that's a bit depressing.  The one day, magically there's a lot more time gone then there is to go!   A little increase in heart rate and a slight weight lifts off.   I say slight because there is a whole 'nother level of anxiety associated with the waning month(s) of a deployment.  The fear is palpable, the stress almost unbearable.  You want to believe that it's almost done, they are almost safe but ... well until all they are standing in front of you it's still hard to take that full deep breath.   Sleep becomes even more fitful.  Wait now, isn't this supposed to be the good time?!?

A week or so passes and a check list is started, a stop mail date is given, a foot locker magically appears, covered in dust and locked but you know someone you love has touched it.  Other's in your unit start to get more chatty, nervous talk but the need to talk is overwhelming.  No one wants to speak the fear out loud, you feel the excitement building but it's a cautionary optimism.    Which quite frankly pisses me off.   I want to jump up and down, I want to scream out IT'S ALMOST OVER! But, nope ... it's still said in whispers, daring to put it out into the universe is tempting fate in a way.  So, inside, deep inside the flutters begin. 
More items checked off, it's getting harder to contain the feelings, then oh happy happy day, a window!  Who cares if it's vague and 3 weeks wide... it's real, unavoidable proof that there is an end to this period of time.   Things start to move, plans start to be made and of course, the inevitable food requests start to come in.   

 Oh to be in Carolinaaaaaaaaaa.....

I digress but it's so funny to me that food is an underlying current to all they do and seemingly is how we can start to mark the end of different periods of time.   Boot camp letters start to be solely about what they want, when they want it and how much they will eat of it.   Deployment calls, emails and chats are all about - what I want and what to have waiting in the cooler for them.   You start to also sense the excitement of coming home building 'over there'.   Ends of chats are not talk to you soon, they are a bit more definite, see you soon, see you in a month, 3 weeks, a week, SOON!!!
Over here things feel lighter, they start to take on brighter colors, laughs come a bit easier.   3 week block hotel reservations are made, ( those poor hotel reservation people, they do put up with a lot !),  cell phone #'s are exchanged. 
All of a sudden there are very few items left on that old check list.   The date window shortens,  a frenzy of phone calls,  daily stalking of the hot line begin.  Rumors, oh what would the USMC be without rumors, start - I heard they are coming home on X, well I heard XX , nope I'm sure it's XXX.   Dates go out and emails come back, you are wrong, where are you getting these dates? My LCpl says it's X  -  well sorry ma'am but the Sgt Major gave us these dates I'll be happy to pass on that he's wrong though.   Semper Gumby makes his inevitable appearance, dates start to shift and change daily,  normally calm people start to get a little bit testy.  WAIT , this is happy time no?  Apparently not yet. 

Where else could an end to something be so happy? Where else do you get ONE day to breath, one day to just say oh yeah, this is a good day?   The minute they get on that bus to leave we start the homecoming countdown, now it seems that the minute they step off that bus we start to wonder, how long will we have them for this time? How long before they ship out again?   

So enjoy that day of joy, they are far and few between, but when they are here, it is real, it is intense and it is a moment to treasure. 

But that one day, it's time to sing... so let's hear it for the boys... let's give those boys a hand........

I'm waiting.......

So here I sit, late night once again.  Oh but this time it's different.  This time it's more like when I was a kid and told I was going on a really good vacation - when ? .. soon... where?.. somewhere great.... but when??    When you are little anything other then tomorrow is akin to forever and right now, I've got a foot in tomorrow and the other in forever.

That's sort of how the dog days of a deployment feel.  I know something wonderful is coming, I know I'm really going to like it, the excitement is building but... when ?   I can finally say soon -not too soon but there is definitely more behind then there is ahead.

This Semper Gumby stuff sure gets old quick though.  Yeah, yeah, I understand the reasons for the lack of information, heck I preach it to people myself.  Which by the way is not easy to do - spout the words when you really want to say yeah this stinks.. well no actually it sucks.   A clue maybe?  A hint would be awesome... the rumors are swirling. It's difficult to listen to all the scuttlebutt and not give it some credence.  I know better, but, when you are hearing whispers of what you want to hear .. well then you just want to believe.

All the preparations are starting, the planning, the organizing and the buzzing of anticipation - anything to make time pass.  Then reality sets in and I say, but wait, don't get ahead of yourself.  So much can change, so much can happen and it makes me mad.   Yes I said it, it makes me MAD that even a little joy is tempered with cold water baths of reality.   I think that's the hardest part, not being able to allow ourselves the luxury of just screaming out  Yeah Baby we're almost there.

I'm worn out - weary of cheer leading, of  being cautious in my words, of pushing down the feelings in order to pick up those who really need it.  I'm just tired in general.  I want to skip, give myself permission to enjoy the coming end.  Again, like that little kid I wake up each day and say ... today?  Will I know more today?

In the not too distant future it will be the day - the news will be released, the word passed and I will have the honor of being among those passing that word.  In doing so, I will also have the wonderful feeling of knowing I am part of making others wait come to an end;  of bringing happiness to them by answering the question YES Today is the day!   Make plans, make reservations, get in your car and drive... They are coming home ... Yes Today is the day!

Until then - stay safe, know you're loved, know you're missed, know we are waiting

Silence... is it golden?

With all the information we all share .. how much is too much?  Is there a point that we cross the line, intrude on others?  I'm struggling with this dilemma for the past few days.   Is my need to be involved also taking precedence over some one's right to privacy and more importantly, right to finding his own way?

The quiet - sometimes there is a need to go quiet. 

Whether it's a family member or your service member - silence is not always bad.  I find I need to distance myself at times from it all and just be with my own thoughts; to gain focus again.  

Of course there is the other side to it, someone who is silent can also be drowning and in need of help.  The trick is in how to figure out which situation is presenting itself.     

If I find a friend who has been fairly good at communicating suddenly drop out I reach out.   Not publicly in a post, but in a private message and ask if all is okay.  If it's just the case of their needing to be quiet for whatever reason, then I respect that.   l let them know I'm here for them and leave it be.   If it's someone who is obviously in distress and can't ask for help, then I extend the hand and hope they reach for it.  There's a fine line between intruding and interest and sometimes hard to negotiate without hard feelings or missteps.  

With our service members it's a little more difficult.   Their situation is more complicated - it can be a problem with their command, other's in their unit,  news they are being told that they can't share, deployment, dealing with the aftermath of being deployed.   It's a slippery slope that we have to learn to navigate, when are we hovering... when are we pushing to hard, or not hard enough?  When is it them not knowing how to communicate what they are feeling or that natural distancing that comes with just growing up? 

I read somewhere that the average Marine recruit entering boot camp at 17 or 18 will mature the equivalent of 2 years in that 3 month period.  To me that's astounding!  How are we supposed to catch up when our time frames have remained at the status quo?   Were we supposed to be able to make that leap as well? 

It's hard to discern when the need for quiet is healthy for myself as well.  I don't really want to be talking all Marines all the time, some days I want to make believe it doesn't exist at all.   I draw back from the constant chatter and posting, not because I don't care but possibly because I begin to care too much.   I hope I don't insult someone or hurt their feelings when I explain it's just me needing some distance.   Some get it, some don't.  I hope I'm one of those that 'get' it when the shoe is on the other foot.   I want to make sure I am respecting every one's wants and needs - my friends and my serviceman's.


This learning curve and living out loud is a process that takes some getting used to. How much is too much?

The new 'normal'

It occurred to me that I seem like a Debbie Downer lately and I'm really not.

There are plenty of good days, most weeks/months they outnumber the bad.  I'm not dealing with a deployed service member. Our Marine is safe and sound on a base in the US. 

I feel for my new Marine family members that are, I, some days, fear the future but on the whole, life is good.


There comes a turning point, it came for me when he left for MCT, combat training - the next step after boot camp.  I occurred to me that 5 years is a LONG time to live in an emotional pressure cooker and to continue my obsessive behavior.    There was another part of my life that was jumping up and down in need of my attention.   The life full of people that existed and continued, most times without me,  when he went to boot camp. 
I made a conscious effort to call and reconnect with my friends that I had neglected, caught up on events that I had missed, did chores and errands that I had ignored.   The small details that made up my life that I had put on hold.   They cannot be put on hold forever, at some point we all have to re enter our 'normal' life.   Have a conversation that doesn't include mention of our servicemen/women and what they are doing.   Oh my! there was a time that I didn't think it was possible - but I found it is.

Seriously, he was not my hyper focus prior to enlisting and I had to get things back into a better balance.    So I have -  I still tend to speak to my Marine family on a more regular basis, I involve myself in volunteer work at this point solely with a military slant, but, I have made a successful re entry.   I go to parties, theater, attend social events, ball games, graduations, communions and completely enjoy myself.   The balance is still a little off but it's much better then it was and I am happier, and calmer, for it.

The fabric of my life has been rewoven to now include plenty of new threads - Marines, their family's, some of whom I now call friend in a way that transcends our Marine connection, some of whom are in my larger new Marine family of friends.   My life has been enriched by these connections. My world has been opened to a part of American life that while I was not unaware of I did not have much opportunity to come to know.

Because my intensity levels have lowered, my old friends now are interested again in what it is I'm involved in.  I don't send them running away or bore them to tears.  There was a change in my life made by a choice someone else made and it's fascinating.   The different ways of life that I have been exposed to in the last year is mind boggling.   I'm a city girl - born and bred and seriously .. really... had never met people who had chickens, cows, pigs on their farms.   The likelihood of my finding a snake curled up on my porch, a bear crossing my path in the yard were slim to none.  I knew that milk didn't start out in a nice carton or that meat wasn't always pre packaged but had never really met anyone involved in the beginning part of the process.   It's been like taking a cross country trip and seeing it all over again, but with a personal touch.   As most of us, my circle was a reflection of my beliefs, interests, upbringing and politics.   I've now met and become friends with those who share none of that.  My world has been widened even further and it's wonderful!

To those of you just starting your journey , I promise , life will return to normal, just a new normal.  But you will go through hours on end without obsessing.  You will be able to get through a day without tears, you will actually have a conversation about something other then the military and your service member... it seems almost impossible but it comes. As all things, it just takes time.

So thank you all for coming into my life ... Thank you to my Marine for your choice that brought them to me. I look forward to all the eye opening, thought provoking times yet to come with you all !

Details, details, we want details!

He doesn't tell me anything! Who hasn't heard or said that before?

   

When speaking to various friends who are wives, girlfriends or moms it seemed to be the recurring theme.  That's not to say they are all tighter then a clam when it comes to communicating, but more often then not.. yep they are. 

 While I was with a group of Marine family friends it was one of the more enlightening moments of the weekend when everyone realized that they were not alone in the dark.  None of their Marines shared details; to some it seemed that even telling what was for breakfast that day was an OpSec violation.

How are you? Fine, how was your day? Fine, What did you do today? Not much.  Then there is the even more maddening response of "I don't know". You don't know?  How the heck can you not know?

Details!!  We want details... we want to know the smallest, most insignificant piece of information.  FINE? what exactly does fine mean?

    

 So... here's what I have discovered, Fine means - the heat is still on in the barracks, even though it's 85 degrees out.  Fine means that they had to stand in formation for 2 hours today; fine means someone failed room inspection and they lost liberty. Fine means that their day, well, is just their day. 

 

 Now- to uncover the details of said day takes some super sleuthing.  When you visit them, take one of their buddies along to dinner.  Listen when they talk to each other.  Their simple conversation reveals the secrets of their day to day. It's as if you don't exist or have suddenly gone deaf as they forget you're there and just talk.  Warning! Do not interrupt the flow and details, precious details, start to surface.  Another good tool, if you are staying at a hotel near a base and see a service member at the pool or in the lobby, strike up a conversation... you'll find out more in a 5 minute conversation with a stranger then in 5 days with your own.

Recently, while in Jacksonville, NC, 2 of my friends struck up a conversation with a young Marine at the pool.   I walked over, okay swam over, and listened to him explain in depth his job, how he trains, and ... brace yourselves... how he feels!   He is talking about feelings??    

After listening for some time I asked a simple question, " How much of this does your Mom know?"  This lovely young Marine smiled at me and said, "Oh I don't tell my Mom anything! She doesn't need to know this she'd worry!".  Now mind you, my 2 friends are both Moms and there he was, opening up and just spilling secrets... but it wasn't HIS Mom so the filter was off.  He was very patient, completely engaged in the conversation.  He was anxious to put their minds at ease by actually explaining things.  We, like travelers lost in the desert and stumbling upon a water hole, greedily lapped up all he had to say.

Of course, there will always be the things they cannot and should not share with us.  As family members we need to learn to discern when "I don't know" really means "I can't say".   This is hard and it's unpleasant but it's also not negotiable.  

Then there are also things that maybe we are better off not knowing.  It's hard to understand the mentality that now governs their lives.  Someone is being 'mean' to our loved one and we want to make it right.   Well, we can't.  It's time to sit back and let them figure it out on their own.  This is their reality, this is their life and we can't fix things.   

  

That's truly the hard part about details, sometimes too much information is as bad as too little.  Be careful what you wish for in a way.. because once you know something you now have to live with the knowledge and in some cases have no where to go with it. 

So tread softly, pull back a little, they want to own this part of their life. 

They also want to protect us from worry, which of course, breeds super worry but they don't get that.   Remember, you are not alone, it is not just your kid being stingy with information.  

And when all else fails, remember the secret, the buddy system, it works!

Rainy Day's and Monday's

a less then stellar day - oh .. don't get me wrong, life is good.. me not so much.   It's never a good sign when the day starts off by crying in the shower.  What set me off you might ask ?   It's nothing tangible, it's nothing concrete, it just is the weight, the knowledge, the truth of loving someone in the military.  Most days I can wind my way through, seemingly without a care in the world, then there are THOSE days.. you all know, we all have them.

Was it a dream..  a careless remark by a friend in passing... or something as simple as too many people inquiring about my Marine nephew?   Is it my empathy for a fellow military loved one who's having a tough time?  Maybe it's just Monday.

More then likely it's just that today I don't want to be strong, today I don't want to make believe he's just on a camping trip, today I can't push the knowledge of an impending deployment away.    No .. today I just want to give in.  So I do... just for today.  I look at it as a chance to recharge the core that I depend on for my strength the rest of the days.  So I cry, I watch all those youtube videos that I know I shouldn't, I allow myself the luxury of emotion.

Tomorrow will be better, tomorrow I will be strong.. tomorrow I'll help out someone else having a "day".. but today.. hmm today I'll just let happen.

You've Got a Friend

"They also serve who only stand and wait".  John Milton
 

I've become a little self conscious, long time friends were not taking my calls,  I would join a group of people and those in the group would drift away one by one.  Maybe it's my perfume or shampoo?  No and no... it's my new obsession.  I can't seem to get through a conversation without mentioning the armed forces in general, the USMC in particular. 

If you've experienced the above, not to worry it's not terminal, it's not your perfume.. it's called having a loved one in the armed services.  And yes!  there is a support group for it, we don't have 12 steps to over come it but have faith .. usually 4 or 5 years will do the trick.

When my nephew uttered those words, "I've enlisted" I needed to talk .. and question and talk.  Not to him but to someone, anyone who had also heard those same words at some point.  Where to turn?  It became very clear, very quickly that no one I knew had any experience with this.  Not a friend or relative who could relate with the exception of my sister and well .. she was as brand new to this as I was.

I am one of those people that need information to be calm, I need to talk an issue to death, if need be, to be satisfied.   I also am very social, with a large circle of friends with a vast and varied amount of interests and experience - yet I was alone!  I was flying solo and feeling a bit isolated.  No one understood. Oh they could try but you know it's bad when you're standing in the mall and a song comes over the music system, tears just start to stream and everyone you're with looks anywhere but at you.   Friends would offer an ear but it became obvious fairly quickly that they couldn't fully comprehend the fear, the questions and the overwhelming need to be around those who 'got it'.

I was lucky and found an outlet online.  I had my questions answered, I was able say, "I got a letter today and cried at the sight of his name on the return address," and have people understand immediately what that meant.  I was no longer navigating this sea of confusion alone!  No need for long explanations - just say a few words and someone online had a similar experience, a shoulder to lean on or a sympathetic ear.  I had found another circle of friends.

All of these friendships began online, some have moved to off line, real life friendships.  It's facebook, usmc or parrisisland.yuku.com, it's a Marine Moms and Others monthly luncheon.   Are all of these people who's lives are now intersected with mine friends?  No, some I have nothing in common with outside of this shared experience of having a family member in the military.  Others would be my friend even outside of the military bond.  But all are there for me and for you - we offer each other the simplest form of friendship  - understanding forged in shared experience.  No questions, no evaluations, no judgement, just support.   We get the boot camp terror, we celebrate graduation, we cry for each word of deployment news, we CHEER homecomings.. WE GET IT!!!!!   I've found another family and it's not unlike my real family because at the very foundation it's based on understanding and love.  What can be better than that?

For me I've found one of the best, and easiest, ways to enlarge this circle is to get involved with a local charity - I've volunteered with The Wounded Warrior Foundation, Hope for the Warriors and the USO.  I send care packages, I participate in SFS events, I chat on facebook.   It works for me, it eases the feeling of being alone.   The more I get involved, the less my other friends run away, its a win win!  I have somewhere to talk about the military world and can now just deal with life's ups and downs with my old friends.  No one glazes over when I wander into a conversation.. I'm no longer going to obsess out loud.. I have an outlet!

There are so many groups out there that can use our help.  Search on google, if there are none.. start up a monthly group yourself, I bet there is one person living within a reasonable distance of you that can use the friendship.  There is probably a group close by that does a care package project - go join in the pack!!

Volunteer your time, there are organizations that can use the help... our family member volunteered, so honor their commitment by giving some of your time.  It ends up being a gift you give yourself, you help out and find that you've gained something in return - a new friend and that warm fuzzy feeling we all can use now and again.


Organize a lunch or a weekend.   I'm meeting some facebook friends and reuniting with my boot camp family next week in Jacksonville, NC.  Can't wait for the fun .. and a chance to either renew those bonds or make new ones.  If you're in the area, leave a note below, come out and join us!

 join the family - we're waiting! But know.. we might be the "Silent Ranks" but we are far from quiet.  For MY Marine Corps family of friends... I don't know what I would do without you!  


My group of online friends are doing a retreat of sorts which encompasses all branches of the military... We laugh, we cry, we learn... we revel in friendship and understanding. Heck it's not really that serious - we laugh a LOT.  We're our own 12 step group. come on down in October and join in the fun - 
SFS.BeachBlast@gmail.com for details.  You're not alone and don't ever feel that you are. 

So here are some suggestions to search - leave a comment if there is a group in your area that you would like added or just to share your experience -

Semper Fi Sisters - semperfisisters.com or visit on Facebook Semper Fi Sisters

Blue Star Mothers

The USO

Hope for the Warriors

Support Our Marines, Inc.

Soldiers Angels

Alphabet Soup aka the wonderful world of military acronyms

PI, AWF, PFT, IT, PT, MOS, IST, MCT, PDS, FRO, PUMP, SITFU, FEX, FOB, FLEET, CI, DI, OPSEC, POG, GRUNT, FLOAT, HOP, OORAH, YUT, SEMPER GUMBY


  O M G how did poor Gumby get dragged into this?

 WHAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!

This all came to mind recently when I was having a conversation with a parent of a fairly new recruit at Parris Island.  She asked me to help her interpret a letter she had received. 

Upon arrival we were issued go fasters, moon beams, and deserts.  We also went to the 7 day and I bought my hygiene items, writing gear and ink sticks.  Chow to chow is the only way I can figure out what time of day it is.  We received Knowledge from our Knowledge Hat, were given pit time from our Kill Hat and then in the afternoon had  Big Daddy time.  By the time I hit the rack I'm exhausted - it feels like LIGHTS LIGHTS LIGHTS comes in 5 minutes.   

How many of us have been there?  Received a letter and wondered what is wrong with my recruit? What is a moonbeam and why would a USMC recruit be in need of one?   Oh good ... go fasters... maybe they roller skate to get from point A to point B quickly!!    

 

  A year or so ago, when I found myself in a situation not unlike the one above, I panicked.  In my boot camp insanity I became convinced this was some diabolical plot to further cement that our recruits have indeed entered another world.  Now I can no longer communicate with my Marine!  Of course this state of affairs was simply not acceptable.  Unwilling to accept defeat I went into my trusty boot camp message board. There I began to read anything and everything posted which caused even further confusion.  Realizing the situation was more dire then I had originally thought I took a huge step... clicked on the chat room and entered for the first time.  Shy, and a bit out of my element, for days I would visit and watch the sentences fly by as if in another language... well wait ... it is another language! It even has name - MarineSpeak!!!!!!!

Finally I couldn't take it any longer, hesitantly I asked, "Can someone please tell me - what's a KILL HAT? Where in the world is 29 Stumps... ???"  and so my education began.   

With the help of my beloved and revered mentors I slowly learned MarineSpeak.  Despite feeling quite unsure of myself,  and I admit a wee bit silly, I never the less started to test my new language skills in the chat room.  To my surprise I was understood, no one laughed, I wasn't treated as an impostor! Success was mine I had conquered the basics!  Now time for the real test, I began to use my new skills in my letters to boot camp.  I was excited !!  I could talk to him in his language, oh how proud he would be that I 'got it'. 

note - no they do not always like when we speak MarineSpeak.  It's like learning the secret handshake or password to their childhood fort .  What muddies the waters though is they appreciate we take the time to understand it 

  This had both a good and bad result.  Have you ever said to someone Hola and then they proceeded to chatter at you in Spanish?  Well that's pretty much what happened during boot leave after I asked, innocently, "What's your MOS?"  Yes friends, I received a full out answer to my question, which also included numbers, and very little of which I understood.  Deflation and confusion threatened but NO I will not quit!!  Okay, so now why use words when we have #'s.  Deep calming breath, where's my laptop?  Apparently all I had mastered was MarineSpeak101 and it was time for the next level.
  While I speak to my Marine family friends in this abbreviated language with ease I've learned something very important.   I've found that the habit of shortening words does not translate well when speaking with non Military friends.  So beware when you feel the need to tell them you are LOL while SMH... seriously... trust me on this ... it is not a good way to go. Take the time, slow it down!  Saying I was laughing out loud while shaking my head will earn you an understanding nod instead of the blank stare which says that you've finally gone over the edge. 

For all you newbies out there, relax, check out a link below, you'll learn.  

What I have found is that the education is never ending, with each new phase comes another layer of words/slang/acronyms that I need to master.  I truly believe though that our Marines invent new words to keep us guessing - it's their language, it's a secret and just when we think we catch on we're thrown a curve ball.
Which brings me to my real question - FOBBIT !?!?  maybe I'm living in a Tolkien fantasy? Fobbit ?!?!  really? 

Sigh...  and the education continues.  

Hotel Alpha Victor Echo  Alpha  Golf Oscar Oscar Delta  Delta Alpha Yankee

 

Marines

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_United_States_Marine_Corps_acronyms_and_expressions

http://www.marcorsyscom.usmc.mil/aboutus/acronyms.aspx

http://4mermarine.com/USMC/dictionary/a.html

  
Army 

http://www.acronymslist.com/cat/us-army-acronyms-%28official%29.html

http://www.acronymslist.com/cat/us-army-acronyms-%28slang%29.html

http://www.all-acronyms.com/tag/army


 Military


http://www.fas.org/news/reference/lexicon/acronym.htm

http://www.globemaster.de/html/dictionary.html


http://usmilitary.about.com/od/theorderlyroom/a/alphabet.htm

Navy

https://portal.navfac.navy.mil/portal/page/portal/navfac/acronyms/abc_tb


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._Navy_acronyms
 

Air Force

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._Air_Force_acronyms_and_expressions
http://www.fas.org/irp/doddir/usaf/afdd1-2.pdf

Coast Guard

http://a091.uscgaux.info/docs/AcronymsList.pdf


http://www.coastguardfamily.org/acronyms.htm

Information is Key

    Today is all about information.  For me the most unsettling and upsetting part of enlistment was my complete and total lack of knowledge.   Thankfully, we live in the information age and a plethora of just that was a key stroke away - or so I thought.   Connecting with others and finding real information is not as easy as I had first imagined it would be.  After poring through pages and searches, which led to other searches and other pages,  I stumbled upon a link that saved my sanity.  www.parrisisland.yuku.com   All things Marine boot camp, answers, chat rooms and a connection with others who were either going through this along side me or had been there before.  I wouldn't say that this completely eased the stress but it did lower my levels to a manageable point.

    For parents it's sending your baby who you've been watching as closely as a hawk, into the great unknown.  For wives, husbands, girl friends/boy friends - you are having someone leave that should be, according to most in society, staying by your side.   For us extended family members it's a little different but no less upsetting.   For all but the spouse/partners it's the child/nephew/niece that you've been carefully sheltering from danger going off, willingly, into harms way.   In this day and age we can talk to them, text them, GPS their phones to find them and contact them at any given moment and now they are going off into what feels like a big black hole.

   What will they be doing? How will they be feeling? What... Why... How.... Where....

    I found my answers - hopefully some of the links below will help you find yours !


All Branches

http://www.allmilitary.com/board/

http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=273

Marine Corps

 

www.parrisisland.yuku.com    all things boot camp related

www.usmc.yuku.com          combat school and beyond

Army 

http://www.armybasic.org/portal/index.php

http://forums.military.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/2681962206/m/1241902096/p/44

http://www.marriedtothearmy.com

Air Force


http://www.militarymoms.net/airforcebasic.html

Navy

http://www.navy.com/messageboard/index.jspa

http://www.navy4moms.com

Coast Guard

http://www.uscg.org/?uscg-forum=*http://www.uscg.org/forum/

http://www.coastguardfamily.org


If anyone has other sites or message boards that they find useful, please, leave it for me in the comments and I will add to the list above.

Suggested Reading -

Hey Mom! I Joined the Marines!: They May Have Enlisted, but We Were Drafted by Teri A. Laughery (Paperback - Oct. 26, 2009)

Into The Crucible: Making Marines for the 21st Century 

Keeping Faith: A Father-Son Story About Love and the U.S. Marine Corps 

An Army ABC Book 
Separated By Duty, United In Love (revised): Guide to Long Distance Relationships for Military Couples (Updated)