Well Hello Again!

WOW - It's been quite a while and a lot of miles since my last entry here.   I could make all the usual excuses .. life got in the way... business got busy... dealing with the realities of loving someone in the military got me down.  While all of that may be true the honest answer is I forgot my sign on information!  Yes, lost the spreadsheet with all my information and well.. there you have it.   Trust me it's not for lack of things to blog about!   There have been many, many occasions over the last 2 years that I've said, " oh do I need to write in my blog about this!".   So while I couldn't share it with you at the time, I have been typing away and saving documents for the day that I could again share my opinions and thoughts, in addition to resources and information, with you all.  

There's been a lot of changes among my network of Military friends, many who had active duty are now family members of Veterans!  We have lost some of our Heroes as well as added to the ranks of Wounded Warriors.  Lots of tears and amazement at the strength of the family members and service members dealing with this first hand.    All the while, filling in behind us are new family members - all shiny and bright eyed- and I think a bit stunned by some of the cynical or jaded advice they are given.   It's hard to remember way back then, when we had no idea what was coming,  all we knew was the pride of having our loved one enlist in one of the branches of the military.  The pride is still there but the reality is as well.  It's really hard some days to care about not getting a letter from boot camp or basic,  worrying about losing one hot meal a day ( hey some of us remember when there were NO hot meals a day ),  and GASP! the best way to daily facetime/skype/message with a deployed loved one.  While I think its great I still can't quite wrap my head around that one. 

So get ready folks,  there will be some informative posts, some ranting posts, some reflective posts and through it all hope to keep my sense of humor intact.   

So glad to be back ! 

Rainy Day's and Monday's

a less then stellar day - oh .. don't get me wrong, life is good.. me not so much.   It's never a good sign when the day starts off by crying in the shower.  What set me off you might ask ?   It's nothing tangible, it's nothing concrete, it just is the weight, the knowledge, the truth of loving someone in the military.  Most days I can wind my way through, seemingly without a care in the world, then there are THOSE days.. you all know, we all have them.

Was it a dream..  a careless remark by a friend in passing... or something as simple as too many people inquiring about my Marine nephew?   Is it my empathy for a fellow military loved one who's having a tough time?  Maybe it's just Monday.

More then likely it's just that today I don't want to be strong, today I don't want to make believe he's just on a camping trip, today I can't push the knowledge of an impending deployment away.    No .. today I just want to give in.  So I do... just for today.  I look at it as a chance to recharge the core that I depend on for my strength the rest of the days.  So I cry, I watch all those youtube videos that I know I shouldn't, I allow myself the luxury of emotion.

Tomorrow will be better, tomorrow I will be strong.. tomorrow I'll help out someone else having a "day".. but today.. hmm today I'll just let happen.