Silence... is it golden?

With all the information we all share .. how much is too much?  Is there a point that we cross the line, intrude on others?  I'm struggling with this dilemma for the past few days.   Is my need to be involved also taking precedence over some one's right to privacy and more importantly, right to finding his own way?

The quiet - sometimes there is a need to go quiet. 

Whether it's a family member or your service member - silence is not always bad.  I find I need to distance myself at times from it all and just be with my own thoughts; to gain focus again.  

Of course there is the other side to it, someone who is silent can also be drowning and in need of help.  The trick is in how to figure out which situation is presenting itself.     

If I find a friend who has been fairly good at communicating suddenly drop out I reach out.   Not publicly in a post, but in a private message and ask if all is okay.  If it's just the case of their needing to be quiet for whatever reason, then I respect that.   l let them know I'm here for them and leave it be.   If it's someone who is obviously in distress and can't ask for help, then I extend the hand and hope they reach for it.  There's a fine line between intruding and interest and sometimes hard to negotiate without hard feelings or missteps.  

With our service members it's a little more difficult.   Their situation is more complicated - it can be a problem with their command, other's in their unit,  news they are being told that they can't share, deployment, dealing with the aftermath of being deployed.   It's a slippery slope that we have to learn to navigate, when are we hovering... when are we pushing to hard, or not hard enough?  When is it them not knowing how to communicate what they are feeling or that natural distancing that comes with just growing up? 

I read somewhere that the average Marine recruit entering boot camp at 17 or 18 will mature the equivalent of 2 years in that 3 month period.  To me that's astounding!  How are we supposed to catch up when our time frames have remained at the status quo?   Were we supposed to be able to make that leap as well? 

It's hard to discern when the need for quiet is healthy for myself as well.  I don't really want to be talking all Marines all the time, some days I want to make believe it doesn't exist at all.   I draw back from the constant chatter and posting, not because I don't care but possibly because I begin to care too much.   I hope I don't insult someone or hurt their feelings when I explain it's just me needing some distance.   Some get it, some don't.  I hope I'm one of those that 'get' it when the shoe is on the other foot.   I want to make sure I am respecting every one's wants and needs - my friends and my serviceman's.


This learning curve and living out loud is a process that takes some getting used to. How much is too much?