The new 'normal'

It occurred to me that I seem like a Debbie Downer lately and I'm really not.

There are plenty of good days, most weeks/months they outnumber the bad.  I'm not dealing with a deployed service member. Our Marine is safe and sound on a base in the US. 

I feel for my new Marine family members that are, I, some days, fear the future but on the whole, life is good.


There comes a turning point, it came for me when he left for MCT, combat training - the next step after boot camp.  I occurred to me that 5 years is a LONG time to live in an emotional pressure cooker and to continue my obsessive behavior.    There was another part of my life that was jumping up and down in need of my attention.   The life full of people that existed and continued, most times without me,  when he went to boot camp. 
I made a conscious effort to call and reconnect with my friends that I had neglected, caught up on events that I had missed, did chores and errands that I had ignored.   The small details that made up my life that I had put on hold.   They cannot be put on hold forever, at some point we all have to re enter our 'normal' life.   Have a conversation that doesn't include mention of our servicemen/women and what they are doing.   Oh my! there was a time that I didn't think it was possible - but I found it is.

Seriously, he was not my hyper focus prior to enlisting and I had to get things back into a better balance.    So I have -  I still tend to speak to my Marine family on a more regular basis, I involve myself in volunteer work at this point solely with a military slant, but, I have made a successful re entry.   I go to parties, theater, attend social events, ball games, graduations, communions and completely enjoy myself.   The balance is still a little off but it's much better then it was and I am happier, and calmer, for it.

The fabric of my life has been rewoven to now include plenty of new threads - Marines, their family's, some of whom I now call friend in a way that transcends our Marine connection, some of whom are in my larger new Marine family of friends.   My life has been enriched by these connections. My world has been opened to a part of American life that while I was not unaware of I did not have much opportunity to come to know.

Because my intensity levels have lowered, my old friends now are interested again in what it is I'm involved in.  I don't send them running away or bore them to tears.  There was a change in my life made by a choice someone else made and it's fascinating.   The different ways of life that I have been exposed to in the last year is mind boggling.   I'm a city girl - born and bred and seriously .. really... had never met people who had chickens, cows, pigs on their farms.   The likelihood of my finding a snake curled up on my porch, a bear crossing my path in the yard were slim to none.  I knew that milk didn't start out in a nice carton or that meat wasn't always pre packaged but had never really met anyone involved in the beginning part of the process.   It's been like taking a cross country trip and seeing it all over again, but with a personal touch.   As most of us, my circle was a reflection of my beliefs, interests, upbringing and politics.   I've now met and become friends with those who share none of that.  My world has been widened even further and it's wonderful!

To those of you just starting your journey , I promise , life will return to normal, just a new normal.  But you will go through hours on end without obsessing.  You will be able to get through a day without tears, you will actually have a conversation about something other then the military and your service member... it seems almost impossible but it comes. As all things, it just takes time.

So thank you all for coming into my life ... Thank you to my Marine for your choice that brought them to me. I look forward to all the eye opening, thought provoking times yet to come with you all !