Semper this... a Rant

In an earlier posting I discussed the new language we all have to become familiar with.   Well, along with that come the sayings that, for some reason, have been employed to cover all the things that the military throws at us family members.   My rant is Marine specific, only because that's what I am involved with. I'm sure, no make that positive, the same exists in all branches of the service.

So, here we go - my least favorite phrases that are meant to make it all okay.

Semper Gumby-
Your Marine is set to come home for the weekend, has a 4 Pm flight out of an airport an hour away from base.   Was told, a few days prior that they would be dismissed for their 96 at noon on Thursday.  Here we are , Wednesday, and he is told - oh that's only if you're driving.. everyone else has to leave after 3 PM.  The phone rings with your frantic Marine - the airline is charging $50.00, 70.00, 100.00 to change the ticket since there are no written orders.  You are waiting on the best news of all, boots down on USA soil, wait no, civil war breaks out in the country that your Marine is transitioning through on the way home... no idea when he can leave!  You get online and vent to your friends... each and every one replies .. Semper Gumby!

Semper Gumby ?  REALLY  are those 2 words supposed to make it all okay?  I find myself using them as well and cringe when I realize that I too have fallen prey to the mind set of .. always flexible.   Yes, we all know that God laughs when we make plans, but, what no one told us was that the USMC not only laughs... it rolls on the floor hysterically.  I am convinced there is someone sitting at a desk somewhere who's sole purpose is to see how much mayhem they can cause by the last minute changes.   So yes, we learn to live "Semper Gumby",  we bite our tongues when we really want to scream in frustration, we offer up the empty words to friends as some consolation and grit our teeth every time we hear it.   Please, if you see me stomping a poor defenseless green cartoon character, don't judge me, join me!

The needs of the Corps... oh yes .. the all encompassing "needs of the Corps". 
The band aid that seemingly covers all snafus from change in MOS, to change in duty stations, leave, liberty, deployment dates and ... the worst, homecoming dates... anything you thought you knew.. that was written in stone.   News flash .. the Corps uses invisible ink on that stone.   Your Marine enlisted with a job of Intel, going to school in VA, nice and close to your hometown?  Bam .. communications ... 29 Palms, CA .. almost as far as you can get.     Marines, just getting to a unit are told, the unit you're dropping into is deploying soon but YOU 10 wont be as you just got here... 2 days later... you and you, change in plans, saddle up you're coming with us.  WHAT??????   You're at a send off, dealing with the terror and emotions, getting ready to send your Marine off with a smile.  The bus is there, bags staged... wait for it ... here is comes... names are read off ... you 30 are NOT going with us... relief yes. Was it necessary to put us through this for weeks to change at the last possible moment?
Joy to the world - Nice non deployable unit - what do you mean you were voluntold that you're going to TDA to an infantry unit for a deployment?? 
The only answer you are given? The needs of the Corps.   Yes, I understand it, but want to scream whenever I hear it.

And the always loved and most used one of all ... No news is good news... oh yes .. you haven't heard from your recruit in a month?  Not too worry - no news is good news.. Your Fast team Marine is out God knows where doing God knows what...  no communication in weeks?   no news is good news.   OKAY to all of you ... I beg to differ but ... no news is well ... some days just simply no news.

Some other smaller peeves, when talking to a military family friend and they feel the need to give me time in military time.  Meet me at 1300... oh c'mon now, do I really have to start to do addition?  Just say 1:00 .. trust me it will be appreciated.    Good 2 go?  has no place in regular conversation, Roger that ?  just say I understand.. Out?  what ever happened to goodbye?

Now, don't get me wrong, I spout some of the above phrases with alarming regularity.  I offer them up to frantic parents in boot, to worried friends living with a deployment.   I actually believe the best thing we can do is learn to live "Semper Gumby" and the faster we learn the happier we will be.   I completely understand the needs of the Corps will always come first and that no news is usually truly good news.  But, there are days, and today is apparently one of them that I just wish a plan is a plan, a date is a date and the phone rings for everyone with the best news of all, "Hi, I'm fine and I love you".

Carry on...