Memorial Day

Memorial Day -

People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

George Orwell

Once upon a time it was the first long weekend of the summer.  The beaches officially opened,  bbq's were cleaned and fired up, friends made plans .. 3 days off !!  There were parades, I participated when I was younger - my gymnastics team was always pressed into it - the participation was fun.. but there was no further meaning other then I got to do flips on the back of a truck for a few miles.

Last year was my first Memorial day as a military family member.  I did my usual thing - went for the weekend to a friends place in a small town in  upstate NY.  We decided to go to the town parade - I still gave it no further thought until ... the tractor/floats started coming down the road with support our troops signs.   I was standing there cheering with the crowd when all of a sudden tears started pouring down my face.   Here I was in a festive, happy atmosphere and crying.   It hit me then - Memorial day was more then just a day for bbqs.  Those 'troops' that the signs were imploring we support, the fallen they asked us to remember ... these were my Marine and my friends sons and daughters.  They were not just faceless, nameless vague entities known to most as 'troops' - I knew their faces, I know their names  - they are our sons, daughters, husbands, wives, fiances, girlfriends, boyfriends, brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, grandchildren, friends, neighbors - they are America's youth.  who are willing to put their lives on the line to protect Americans so that they can have their bbq's and parades.   The full force of it just hit me then and, to be frank, the emotion I felt took me by surprise.   I was crying for the fallen but more so, I was crying from PRIDE.

So, yes, Memorial Day no longer is just a 3 day weekend, it's not only a bbq and beach day.  It has taken on it's true meaning for me.   But, I am not angry that the larger part of our population in the US doesn't realize it, or acknowledge that.   They are living the reason that our troops are fighting - for family, for small and big town America to be able to go about their days without worry and terror.

So I will attend my usual round of beginning of summer bbq's, I will smile and for some moments bask in the bliss that stems from it just being a 3 day weekend.

BUT I will wear my nephew is a Marine T shirt, I will remember those that have made the ultimate sacrifice, those that were injured, those that are over seas now, those that are going and those that just returned.   I will say a  prayer for all of our family's - the silent ranks - for we deserve to be remembered as well.  I will say a prayer for peace of mind and heart for Gold Star family's who are visiting a grave site instead of going to the beach.   I will go to the parade and be volunteer at it - my presence and pride will gently remind people of the true meaning of the day.

But I will also be happy participating in the more frivolous parts of the weekend,  for me -  the small pleasures and freedom to take part in them are what the fight is also about. 

If you happen to meet a service member, retired or active, thank them - tell them we appreciate what they do.

For all our Gold Star and Purple Star family's - know a grateful nation remembers

For all the Fallen and Wounded Warriors  - we thank you for your service and sacrifice and we will never forget you.



Sleep well America, A Marine has my heart and he has your back!

Memorial Day - without video link

- Memorial Day -

People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

George Orwell 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ervaMPt4Ha0&feature=related

 Once upon a time it was the first long weekend of the summer.  The beaches officially opened,  bbq's were cleaned and fired up, friends made plans .. 3 days off !!  There were parades, I participated when I was younger - my gymnastics team was always pressed into it - the participation was fun.. but there was no further meaning other then I got to do flips on the back of a truck for a few miles.

Last year was my first Memorial day as a military family member.  I did my usual thing - went for the weekend to a friends place in a small town in  upstate NY.  We decided to go to the town parade - I still gave it no further thought until ... the tractor/floats started coming down the road with support our troops signs.   I was standing there cheering with the crowd when all of a sudden tears started pouring down my face.   Here I was in a festive, happy atmosphere and crying.   It hit me then - Memorial day was more then just a day for bbqs.  Those 'troops' that the signs were imploring we support, the fallen they asked us to remember ... these were my Marine and my friends sons and daughters.  They were not just faceless, nameless vague entities known to most as 'troops' - I knew their faces, I know their names  - they are our sons, daughters, husbands, wives, fiances, girlfriends, boyfriends, brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, grandchildren, friends, neighbors - they are America's youth.  who are willing to put their lives on the line to protect Americans so that they can have their bbq's and parades.   The full force of it just hit me then and, to be frank, the emotion I felt took me by surprise.   I was crying for the fallen but more so, I was crying from PRIDE.

So, yes, Memorial Day no longer is just a 3 day weekend, it's not only a bbq and beach day.  It has taken on it's true meaning for me.   But, I am not angry that the larger part of our population in the US doesn't realize it, or acknowledge that.   They are living the reason that our troops are fighting - for family, for small and big town America to be able to go about their days without worry and terror.

So I will attend my usual round of beginning of summer bbq's, I will smile and for some moments bask in the bliss that stems from it just being a 3 day weekend.

BUT I will wear my nephew is a Marine T shirt, I will remember those that have made the ultimate sacrifice, those that were injured, those that are over seas now, those that are going and those that just returned.   I will say a  prayer for all of our family's - the silent ranks - for we deserve to be remembered as well.  I will say a prayer for peace of mind and heart for Gold Star family's who are visiting a grave site instead of going to the beach.   I will go to the parade and be volunteer at it - my presence and pride will gently remind people of the true meaning of the day.

But I will also be happy participating in the more frivolous parts of the weekend,  for me -  the small pleasures and freedom to take part in them are what the fight is also about. 

If you happen to meet a service member, retired or active, thank them - tell them we appreciate what they do.

For all our Gold Star and Purple Star family's - know a grateful nation remembers

For all the Fallen and Wounded Warriors  - we thank you for your service and sacrifice and we will never forget you.



Sleep well America, A Marine has my heart and he has your back!

Heroes in Heaven

Heroes in Heaven
by Janet A. Norwood

Heaven’s full of heroes
who sacrificed their lives
in service to our Country
so that Liberty survives.

Uniforms of blue or gray,
khaki or olive green;
skin of every color;
young and old and in between.

They fought in many places –
spanning history and time.
Flags wave in their honor still;
in tribute, church bells chime.

In cornfields of America
or on Europe’s distant shore;
Pacific island paradise
or Chosin Reservoir.

In blowing desert sands,
or in jungles’ stifling heat,
on Navy ships or in the air,
or Fallujah’s dusty streets.

It doesn’t matter where they fell
or if we know each name.
What matters is to know that
when their Nation called, they came.

Grateful for their service,
for the precious blood they spilled;
for their sacrifice and courage,
and the duty they fulfilled.

Yes, heaven’s full of heroes –
now part of history.
We treasure what they gave to us –
The Gift of Liberty.

© Janet Aston Norwood, Gold Star Mother of Sgt Byron W. Norwood, USMC
KIA Fallujah, Iraq – 13 November 2004
Dedicated to all of our Fallen Heroes since the beginning of American History
and to each of their Gold Star Mothers

Silence... is it golden?

With all the information we all share .. how much is too much?  Is there a point that we cross the line, intrude on others?  I'm struggling with this dilemma for the past few days.   Is my need to be involved also taking precedence over some one's right to privacy and more importantly, right to finding his own way?

The quiet - sometimes there is a need to go quiet. 

Whether it's a family member or your service member - silence is not always bad.  I find I need to distance myself at times from it all and just be with my own thoughts; to gain focus again.  

Of course there is the other side to it, someone who is silent can also be drowning and in need of help.  The trick is in how to figure out which situation is presenting itself.     

If I find a friend who has been fairly good at communicating suddenly drop out I reach out.   Not publicly in a post, but in a private message and ask if all is okay.  If it's just the case of their needing to be quiet for whatever reason, then I respect that.   l let them know I'm here for them and leave it be.   If it's someone who is obviously in distress and can't ask for help, then I extend the hand and hope they reach for it.  There's a fine line between intruding and interest and sometimes hard to negotiate without hard feelings or missteps.  

With our service members it's a little more difficult.   Their situation is more complicated - it can be a problem with their command, other's in their unit,  news they are being told that they can't share, deployment, dealing with the aftermath of being deployed.   It's a slippery slope that we have to learn to navigate, when are we hovering... when are we pushing to hard, or not hard enough?  When is it them not knowing how to communicate what they are feeling or that natural distancing that comes with just growing up? 

I read somewhere that the average Marine recruit entering boot camp at 17 or 18 will mature the equivalent of 2 years in that 3 month period.  To me that's astounding!  How are we supposed to catch up when our time frames have remained at the status quo?   Were we supposed to be able to make that leap as well? 

It's hard to discern when the need for quiet is healthy for myself as well.  I don't really want to be talking all Marines all the time, some days I want to make believe it doesn't exist at all.   I draw back from the constant chatter and posting, not because I don't care but possibly because I begin to care too much.   I hope I don't insult someone or hurt their feelings when I explain it's just me needing some distance.   Some get it, some don't.  I hope I'm one of those that 'get' it when the shoe is on the other foot.   I want to make sure I am respecting every one's wants and needs - my friends and my serviceman's.


This learning curve and living out loud is a process that takes some getting used to. How much is too much?

The new 'normal'

It occurred to me that I seem like a Debbie Downer lately and I'm really not.

There are plenty of good days, most weeks/months they outnumber the bad.  I'm not dealing with a deployed service member. Our Marine is safe and sound on a base in the US. 

I feel for my new Marine family members that are, I, some days, fear the future but on the whole, life is good.


There comes a turning point, it came for me when he left for MCT, combat training - the next step after boot camp.  I occurred to me that 5 years is a LONG time to live in an emotional pressure cooker and to continue my obsessive behavior.    There was another part of my life that was jumping up and down in need of my attention.   The life full of people that existed and continued, most times without me,  when he went to boot camp. 
I made a conscious effort to call and reconnect with my friends that I had neglected, caught up on events that I had missed, did chores and errands that I had ignored.   The small details that made up my life that I had put on hold.   They cannot be put on hold forever, at some point we all have to re enter our 'normal' life.   Have a conversation that doesn't include mention of our servicemen/women and what they are doing.   Oh my! there was a time that I didn't think it was possible - but I found it is.

Seriously, he was not my hyper focus prior to enlisting and I had to get things back into a better balance.    So I have -  I still tend to speak to my Marine family on a more regular basis, I involve myself in volunteer work at this point solely with a military slant, but, I have made a successful re entry.   I go to parties, theater, attend social events, ball games, graduations, communions and completely enjoy myself.   The balance is still a little off but it's much better then it was and I am happier, and calmer, for it.

The fabric of my life has been rewoven to now include plenty of new threads - Marines, their family's, some of whom I now call friend in a way that transcends our Marine connection, some of whom are in my larger new Marine family of friends.   My life has been enriched by these connections. My world has been opened to a part of American life that while I was not unaware of I did not have much opportunity to come to know.

Because my intensity levels have lowered, my old friends now are interested again in what it is I'm involved in.  I don't send them running away or bore them to tears.  There was a change in my life made by a choice someone else made and it's fascinating.   The different ways of life that I have been exposed to in the last year is mind boggling.   I'm a city girl - born and bred and seriously .. really... had never met people who had chickens, cows, pigs on their farms.   The likelihood of my finding a snake curled up on my porch, a bear crossing my path in the yard were slim to none.  I knew that milk didn't start out in a nice carton or that meat wasn't always pre packaged but had never really met anyone involved in the beginning part of the process.   It's been like taking a cross country trip and seeing it all over again, but with a personal touch.   As most of us, my circle was a reflection of my beliefs, interests, upbringing and politics.   I've now met and become friends with those who share none of that.  My world has been widened even further and it's wonderful!

To those of you just starting your journey , I promise , life will return to normal, just a new normal.  But you will go through hours on end without obsessing.  You will be able to get through a day without tears, you will actually have a conversation about something other then the military and your service member... it seems almost impossible but it comes. As all things, it just takes time.

So thank you all for coming into my life ... Thank you to my Marine for your choice that brought them to me. I look forward to all the eye opening, thought provoking times yet to come with you all !

See no Evil, Hear no Evil.....

I heard the news today oh boy........

Ah the news,  I never realized just how bombarded we are these days by information and 'news' until I started trying to avoid it.  Newspapers, magazines, TV, internet, email accounts, in NYC you can't even have a cab ride without the news flashing on the screen built into the seat back.   It's everywhere you turn.

Yes, I admit it, at one point in time I was a news junkie. I was very well informed on a variety of topics, could hold my own at dinner parties, business functions - just about any social event I found myself at.

Then came boot camp and much to my surprise, and dismay, the news was no longer my friend.   The first time the news of a fallen hero flashed across the screen I was shocked at my reaction.  It was a visceral reaction - not just tears.  The news touched me in a different way.  It was a very real and terrifying moment for me.   It was no longer a face and a name to which I gave a quick thank you in my heart and a sad moment of thought for his/her family.   It affected me down deep in my soul.  Though I didn't know this warrior I knew his family... not personally... but oh yes I knew them.  And I knew him.. again.. not personally but he was the face of everyone of our sons, daughters, nieces, nephews, wives, husbands, fiances, loved one!!   The random nature of how and when and if they can be taken from us was driven home that day.  The unavoidable reality of this can happen to me and you and anyone I care about now hit me like a sledgehammer.   I couldn't shake the funk for a few days, then of course, had a long talk with myself.   I couldn't live in the day to day fear so ... voila ... stop watching the news!

But , can we really sit like the monkeys in that old saying.. See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil?   Of course not, though how I wish we can.   Again, the reality of the life we are now living is unavoidable.

Each time I read about a loss of life or a wounded warrior a little piece of my heart breaks.  I feel, on a level that even I sometimes don't understand, for the family that is now left to deal with the loss or the injury.   I am amazed at the strength exhibited by both the family  and the injured.  I am stunned by the depth of commitment when I read about the wounded that are driven by the need to heal so they can get back to their units. I am awestruck by the outpouring of humanity and kindness from strangers.   I look a the videos and pictures of streets lined by people and flags, they are there to let the family know... this was not in vain, it is not taken for granted ... we thank them for their service ... we appreciate the sacrifice.   We pray for safe returns and for peace of mind.

So I try to filter the news that I allow into my world. Am I completely successful? Of course not.

There are news stories that I need to read, there is a larger world out there that I have to be aware of.  There are events that I would be remiss if I didn't follow.  I can't live in happy ignorance.  There are happenings that can effect my Marine as well that I should keep abreast of.  But, well, some days... I'll take a good rerun at 6 Pm, thank you very much, over nightly news.
There is a certain amount of reality that I feel I need to allow in because it is just that - reality. But, for the day to day bombardment - yes I filter.

I do wish that the news we see from Afghanistan also include the effort made to engage the populace.  The stories of education on growing different crops.  The 'good' works that our servicemen and women also do.   But for now,  I search out the small things that bring me joy, that give the world color.  I notice a sunset, a new puppy, how a baby's grin can make it all okay.  I try to fill my life with living, breathing reasons to smile.

For my non military friends... so... no I haven't suddenly become uninformed, ignorant of world news and politics.. I just some weeks.. have to be.  It's mental survival. 

Call it avoidance, call it putting my head in the sand, call it what you will.  I call it living.

Semper this... a Rant

In an earlier posting I discussed the new language we all have to become familiar with.   Well, along with that come the sayings that, for some reason, have been employed to cover all the things that the military throws at us family members.   My rant is Marine specific, only because that's what I am involved with. I'm sure, no make that positive, the same exists in all branches of the service.

So, here we go - my least favorite phrases that are meant to make it all okay.

Semper Gumby-
Your Marine is set to come home for the weekend, has a 4 Pm flight out of an airport an hour away from base.   Was told, a few days prior that they would be dismissed for their 96 at noon on Thursday.  Here we are , Wednesday, and he is told - oh that's only if you're driving.. everyone else has to leave after 3 PM.  The phone rings with your frantic Marine - the airline is charging $50.00, 70.00, 100.00 to change the ticket since there are no written orders.  You are waiting on the best news of all, boots down on USA soil, wait no, civil war breaks out in the country that your Marine is transitioning through on the way home... no idea when he can leave!  You get online and vent to your friends... each and every one replies .. Semper Gumby!

Semper Gumby ?  REALLY  are those 2 words supposed to make it all okay?  I find myself using them as well and cringe when I realize that I too have fallen prey to the mind set of .. always flexible.   Yes, we all know that God laughs when we make plans, but, what no one told us was that the USMC not only laughs... it rolls on the floor hysterically.  I am convinced there is someone sitting at a desk somewhere who's sole purpose is to see how much mayhem they can cause by the last minute changes.   So yes, we learn to live "Semper Gumby",  we bite our tongues when we really want to scream in frustration, we offer up the empty words to friends as some consolation and grit our teeth every time we hear it.   Please, if you see me stomping a poor defenseless green cartoon character, don't judge me, join me!

The needs of the Corps... oh yes .. the all encompassing "needs of the Corps". 
The band aid that seemingly covers all snafus from change in MOS, to change in duty stations, leave, liberty, deployment dates and ... the worst, homecoming dates... anything you thought you knew.. that was written in stone.   News flash .. the Corps uses invisible ink on that stone.   Your Marine enlisted with a job of Intel, going to school in VA, nice and close to your hometown?  Bam .. communications ... 29 Palms, CA .. almost as far as you can get.     Marines, just getting to a unit are told, the unit you're dropping into is deploying soon but YOU 10 wont be as you just got here... 2 days later... you and you, change in plans, saddle up you're coming with us.  WHAT??????   You're at a send off, dealing with the terror and emotions, getting ready to send your Marine off with a smile.  The bus is there, bags staged... wait for it ... here is comes... names are read off ... you 30 are NOT going with us... relief yes. Was it necessary to put us through this for weeks to change at the last possible moment?
Joy to the world - Nice non deployable unit - what do you mean you were voluntold that you're going to TDA to an infantry unit for a deployment?? 
The only answer you are given? The needs of the Corps.   Yes, I understand it, but want to scream whenever I hear it.

And the always loved and most used one of all ... No news is good news... oh yes .. you haven't heard from your recruit in a month?  Not too worry - no news is good news.. Your Fast team Marine is out God knows where doing God knows what...  no communication in weeks?   no news is good news.   OKAY to all of you ... I beg to differ but ... no news is well ... some days just simply no news.

Some other smaller peeves, when talking to a military family friend and they feel the need to give me time in military time.  Meet me at 1300... oh c'mon now, do I really have to start to do addition?  Just say 1:00 .. trust me it will be appreciated.    Good 2 go?  has no place in regular conversation, Roger that ?  just say I understand.. Out?  what ever happened to goodbye?

Now, don't get me wrong, I spout some of the above phrases with alarming regularity.  I offer them up to frantic parents in boot, to worried friends living with a deployment.   I actually believe the best thing we can do is learn to live "Semper Gumby" and the faster we learn the happier we will be.   I completely understand the needs of the Corps will always come first and that no news is usually truly good news.  But, there are days, and today is apparently one of them that I just wish a plan is a plan, a date is a date and the phone rings for everyone with the best news of all, "Hi, I'm fine and I love you".

Carry on...

First Times

They also serve who only stand and wait".  John Milton
It's out there lurking, just under the surface of all thought each day, every day.

Deployment.  The dreaded "D" word.

Most days I can push the the thoughts down, avoid the emotion and get on with life.   Then there are the days where no matter how hard I try it's just an impossible task.

I have several friends who are dealing with the reality this week.  Some can go to send offs, some are too far to get that last hug.   When a friend is struggling with the emotions it's almost impossible for any of us to quiet our thoughts.  To not give in to the fear, the sadness - okay the terror.

We offer our shoulder for them to cry on, our time for them to talk, our arms to hug - our hearts to share the sadness.   Knowing all the while that though it is helpful, it's small comfort and nothing we say or do can ease what they are feeling.

It gets me more so at night, when all is quiet I can't silence the fears by keeping myself busy.  So I haunt the house, I wander some nights room to room.  Getting comfortable no where, nothing can calm my mind.


I know all the rational thoughts; they are trained well for this, they are ready, they are willing and they are able.  But, they are our little boys and girls as well.  The kaleidoscope of a young life tumbles through my mind at night.  All those first times, when they take off on their bicycles, turning the corner and go out of sight.  We see them walking so excitedly off to their very first day of school.  Each first, each new step is a step away and a step towards their growing up.   Firsts, they are a part of life, they are expected and some times even looked forward to.  Now I want to stop the clock yet again, freeze time.  At night it's my nightmare as I try not to see the man in uniform walking away for yet another first.   
  In so many ways this is a burden that is solitary, we can't shoulder it for our friends .  We have to stand by, with tears falling and hope that our thoughts and prayers are enough.  So to all of you - we offer love, friendship and most of all we offer our strength when yours may falter.   For you and your son or daughter - we offer prayers and wait with you for the most wonderful call you'll get  - boots down on USA soil. 
 
That ticker towards homecoming starts TODAY!

Stay strong and stand proud my friends  and know though we may be the silent ranks - you never stand alone

Details, details, we want details!

He doesn't tell me anything! Who hasn't heard or said that before?

   

When speaking to various friends who are wives, girlfriends or moms it seemed to be the recurring theme.  That's not to say they are all tighter then a clam when it comes to communicating, but more often then not.. yep they are. 

 While I was with a group of Marine family friends it was one of the more enlightening moments of the weekend when everyone realized that they were not alone in the dark.  None of their Marines shared details; to some it seemed that even telling what was for breakfast that day was an OpSec violation.

How are you? Fine, how was your day? Fine, What did you do today? Not much.  Then there is the even more maddening response of "I don't know". You don't know?  How the heck can you not know?

Details!!  We want details... we want to know the smallest, most insignificant piece of information.  FINE? what exactly does fine mean?

    

 So... here's what I have discovered, Fine means - the heat is still on in the barracks, even though it's 85 degrees out.  Fine means that they had to stand in formation for 2 hours today; fine means someone failed room inspection and they lost liberty. Fine means that their day, well, is just their day. 

 

 Now- to uncover the details of said day takes some super sleuthing.  When you visit them, take one of their buddies along to dinner.  Listen when they talk to each other.  Their simple conversation reveals the secrets of their day to day. It's as if you don't exist or have suddenly gone deaf as they forget you're there and just talk.  Warning! Do not interrupt the flow and details, precious details, start to surface.  Another good tool, if you are staying at a hotel near a base and see a service member at the pool or in the lobby, strike up a conversation... you'll find out more in a 5 minute conversation with a stranger then in 5 days with your own.

Recently, while in Jacksonville, NC, 2 of my friends struck up a conversation with a young Marine at the pool.   I walked over, okay swam over, and listened to him explain in depth his job, how he trains, and ... brace yourselves... how he feels!   He is talking about feelings??    

After listening for some time I asked a simple question, " How much of this does your Mom know?"  This lovely young Marine smiled at me and said, "Oh I don't tell my Mom anything! She doesn't need to know this she'd worry!".  Now mind you, my 2 friends are both Moms and there he was, opening up and just spilling secrets... but it wasn't HIS Mom so the filter was off.  He was very patient, completely engaged in the conversation.  He was anxious to put their minds at ease by actually explaining things.  We, like travelers lost in the desert and stumbling upon a water hole, greedily lapped up all he had to say.

Of course, there will always be the things they cannot and should not share with us.  As family members we need to learn to discern when "I don't know" really means "I can't say".   This is hard and it's unpleasant but it's also not negotiable.  

Then there are also things that maybe we are better off not knowing.  It's hard to understand the mentality that now governs their lives.  Someone is being 'mean' to our loved one and we want to make it right.   Well, we can't.  It's time to sit back and let them figure it out on their own.  This is their reality, this is their life and we can't fix things.   

  

That's truly the hard part about details, sometimes too much information is as bad as too little.  Be careful what you wish for in a way.. because once you know something you now have to live with the knowledge and in some cases have no where to go with it. 

So tread softly, pull back a little, they want to own this part of their life. 

They also want to protect us from worry, which of course, breeds super worry but they don't get that.   Remember, you are not alone, it is not just your kid being stingy with information.  

And when all else fails, remember the secret, the buddy system, it works!

Are they happy?

But... are they happy?


We had a reunion of sorts in Jacksonville/Camp LeJeune this weekend.   Several Moms, Dads, Aunts, Wives and girlfriends planned a weekend to meet, greet, talk, laugh, cry and deepen our bonds of support.   As most of us had Marines stationed on the base they were included in most of the activities.

For all situations like this there is a takeaway.   I'm going to write more about that later but today is about our Marines. 

As a family member we often hear the daily complaints from our Marines.  We don't usually get to hear that they laughed that day.  I have always had a small concern about this and wonder if the brotherhood/sisterhood we hear about includes having fun.  So much is spoken and written about how it is forged on the drill field or the battle field - in the shared misery.


One of the activities we planned this weekend was a beach barbecue to which all our Marines and their buddies were invited to.  Now, some of them knew each other from boot, MCT or MOS schools, some were in the same permanent units, but for the most part they were strangers to each other. The small fact that their family members were acquainted was tenuous connection at best.   

I watched these young men show up in ones, twos or threes and gravitate towards each other.  There was an almost immediate acceptance - within in the first hour they were laughing, joking, throwing a football, sharing stories.   The brotherhood did exist in the knowledge that, while at different times, they all had gone through the same experience to get where they were.   There was a mutual respect for each other as they knew what each had endured, while the experience might have been slightly different for them individually, in it's entirety it was also the same.  There was an instant commonality that they shared and I realized watching them that while they might have been strangers, they were strangers who viewed each other as brothers - and each was welcomed into the group based on that.

  
 In addition we had the honor of having Mark Klodzinski join us that afternoon.   He is the young man that is walking across the country, Patriot Walk USA, to raise funds for the Warrior Wish Foundation.  They also welcomed him with open arms... he has selflessly taken it upon himself to help their comrades.  They took him under their wing, not for an hour or the afternoon but for the day, evening and the next day as well.   He was walking for them, he was walking for their brothers and there was a respect shown that was unexpected, at least it was from my viewpoint.   I had never thought about how they would react to his quest.   I watched as they said to Mark... Thank You and now what can we do for YOU?   Beer, food, take a day off and we'll take you out to the beach. I listened as they questioned him on his motivation, his plan and his ideas.  I stood in awe when two of them decided his footwear wasn't appropriate for a certain part of his walk and gave him a new pair of boots.   The surprise of the day for me was watching the transformation in these young men that had been your typical 18- 24 year olds...  living the "it's all about me life".   Well they may still show that side to us at home but they live outside of that now.  The question of what can we do for YOU floored me - the gesture of the new boots - well, truth be told, it brought me to tears.   The growth, maturity and unselfish thought process that they exhibited was stunning.   Mostly because we don't get to see that, we don't get to hear that or witness it.

So while we family members were there to deepen in our relationships we were given an unexpected gift. The answer to a question most of us, ( at least not me), hadn't even known we had.  I watched them act as most guys their age would, the Marine mode was dropped and they were again just a bunch of kids at the beach. They smiled, joked, teased and played football, frisbee and beer pong.    As I think most of you will agree, there is nothing better to set your mind at ease then to see your loved one laughing.

Are they happy? At least from my observation - Yes they are



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http://patriotwalkusa.org/