a less then stellar day - oh .. don't get me wrong, life is good.. me not so much. It's never a good sign when the day starts off by crying in the shower. What set me off you might ask ? It's nothing tangible, it's nothing concrete, it just is the weight, the knowledge, the truth of loving someone in the military. Most days I can wind my way through, seemingly without a care in the world, then there are THOSE days.. you all know, we all have them.
Was it a dream.. a careless remark by a friend in passing... or something as simple as too many people inquiring about my Marine nephew? Is it my empathy for a fellow military loved one who's having a tough time? Maybe it's just Monday.
More then likely it's just that today I don't want to be strong, today I don't want to make believe he's just on a camping trip, today I can't push the knowledge of an impending deployment away. No .. today I just want to give in. So I do... just for today. I look at it as a chance to recharge the core that I depend on for my strength the rest of the days. So I cry, I watch all those youtube videos that I know I shouldn't, I allow myself the luxury of emotion.
Tomorrow will be better, tomorrow I will be strong.. tomorrow I'll help out someone else having a "day".. but today.. hmm today I'll just let happen.
Monday, April 26, 2010
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Wow, I was thinking about you a little while ago and not feeling very strong myself. I do hope you get a good night sleep tonight and are able to smile again tomorrow:) Sheila
ReplyDeletethanks Sheila - the key for me is to never give in 2 days in a row !
ReplyDeleteThe key is to realize that it's ok and necessary to "give in" once in a while as long as you NEVER "give up" knowing that on your good days you make a difference.
ReplyDeleteTammy(aka Tracer)