STANDING WATCH

Right now, all over the good old USA there are hundreds, possibly thousands of us standing watch.   We aren't guarding weapons or bases.  We're not in danger of ambush or attack.  We are standing guard over memories and hopes - over dreams and prayers.   We are wives, husbands, moms, dads, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters .. we're fiances and girlfriends or boyfriends.  We are our own squad, our own fire team.  We are the loved ones of someone in the military.   At any given moment, at any hour, I can find a friend awake, suffering through a sleepless night.  

It starts the first night they leave for boot camp.  We toss and turn wondering if they are okay, if they are regretting their choice.  We wonder, are they still as sure of their decision as they were 24 hours ago?  If they are sad, if they are homesick.   They move on and the night terrors ease, letters start to arrive, they seem to settle in and hey we know where they are and what they are doing...  sleep gets easier.   About 2 weeks before they are due to graduate the sleeplessness returns, it's so close now the insomnia is not out of wondering if they are okay  -it's due to the uncontrollable fear that something may happen to end the dream.  They are so close to realizing it and we agonize for them... please let them stay healthy, please let this goal be achieved.  Please let them graduate!
As they move through training a pattern of sorts emerges, sleep comes a bit easier - interrupted now and again with fears of the future.  Mostly it's settle in time, they are safe - they are training or in school.  Then they are in the 'fleet' - settling into their new home.  
Ah then comes deployment - and standing watch is constant.   If they deploy to Afghanistan our night is their day, bad things happen in the daytime over there.  Sleep becomes elusive, and we rediscover our night time buddies  - I wish we could stand watch in shifts, so that some can sleep.  For me, it's not a night time filled with nightmares and fear.   I don't visualize what could be happening. I simply do not sleep.  I no longer have the luxury of going outside and staring at the moon - knowing somewhere he is possibly doing the same.   I can't send silent prayers through the clouds, his sunshine is my moonlight.  So I stand guard, I'm part of the midnight warriors.  We wander the house, we pray,  read, we facebook, we stare into space.  We think of little boys and girls with toothless grins and cheery waves of little fingers.  Of grown men and women with looks of grim determination waving once last time before the bus leaves to take them far away.

So for all my midnight warriors - know you're not alone, somewhere out there is another one, also standing watch, praying, hoping, dreaming of the night when we can again close our eyes and sleep a dreamless sleep.