What's going on here?

We've all heard Marines say - in the 'old' Marine Corps....  well as a family member I'm starting to say the same.   The changes that are being noticed from the family side are startling and, in a lot of ways, quite upsetting.   It's nothing to do with the military side of things - oh no it has to do with the what's happening in groups across the Internet.    Unprecedented access to information all across the Internet.  Face Book acting as a gateway to others in a gazillion support groups.  A lot of information - not too much worry about the validity of it.    A lot of opinions, but few facts  and .... a lot of not understanding, respecting and bothering to learn about the USMC.   

It's become a free for all in many cases, people searching 'boot camp' and bam; you have your choice of a smorgasbord of groups to join.   Join one, join 5 - the more the merrier it seems!   In those groups are people who are chatting away, answering questions very often from an anecdotal point of view - rarely do you find a factual one.   "I asked MY Marine" ... yeah well your Marine has had 3 months experience and ONLY his experience - how does he know what is supposed to be?   All he knows is what was during his time.   Then the instant know it alls - I mean really!  Everyone is in a position to dispense advice and information after 3 months or 5 months of being in a Face Book group aren't they?   You can take it to the bank that most times they are not.   It's been  noted by many 'old timers'  that some of the seriousness which they approached their son/daughters enlistment and subsequent leaving for boot camp training is not as prevalent now,  it's like a big old party to see who can get away with what instead of learning that it's not what WE want to do and try to do it's all about coloring within the lines the USMC has laid out.   I hear way too often well it's MY CHILD and I can do what I want.    Um no - it's your adult child who is know answering to a higher power and that one trumps you most of the time.    What often gets lost is the warnings from those in the know, that pushing your agenda will not only have an adverse effect on your relationship BUT can also have a blow back effect on your Marine.   By then it's too late, your kid's in a world of hurt answering for your mistakes.   People listen please!!  No one here is looking to spoil your fun - but at the end of it all it's serious business and needs to be treated that way.    We all blow off steam and are silly but the overstepping is out of hand.     

I've had some people opine that 5,6,7 years ago when a recruit shipped off to boot camp it was pretty much with a guarantee that they'd see a combat deployment at least 1 time, if not more, during their first enlistment.  That was regardless of their MOS - if they were infantry you knew 2 or more were in the future.    That is no longer hanging over the heads of families when their recruits ship.  Oh sure there are events happening throughout the world but there are no longer a constant rotation of young men and women rotating in and out of Afghanistan.   Maybe the absence of that sheer terror factor is what has caused people to not 'get it' ...  They worry about phone calls and face time, about RA and back ups - not it seems understanding that the more phone calls / face time the less time spent training.    The more time they spend in the USMC atmosphere, even with MOS back ups, the better off they are.  RA is great but a new Marine will keep his focus on what he's learned and lived much more easily if he stays within the structure.  Oh yes, we miss them, of course we do but again... what may be better for us is not necessarily better for them.  They are gone from home, one foot at home and one in a base is no way to get moving forward.   They along with us have to make that break, understand that for the next few years at least - home is vacation and base is home.  Hard concept that eases a lot of pain later. 

This is a rant, it has no real beginning or end - I may be finished, I may be back to add more but all I know is for your sakes and your service members.   Respect the institution and play by their rules.   You'll be happier in the long run. 

Off they go - and the journey begins

SHIP DAY _ DAY 1


The day they leave - is probably one of the toughest days ever.   You will cry, you will feel like your lost, you will not function that well in your daily routine.  DO NOT WORRY this is perfectly normal behavior.   Essentially, someone you have kept close tabs on has disappeared into a void.   You feel like you know nothing, you don't know what to expect, you wonder if they are okay, what they are doing each and every second and what you can do to help.  It's like a big black hole has come and swallowed them up.   The thing to remember is that thousands upon thousands of US Marines have passed through those portals and made it just fine.  

• Arrival - When the bus arrives, they are met by receiving Drill Instructors and the indoctrination begins immediately.  Recruits get off the bus, stand on the fabled yellow foot prints and their journey aboard MCRD Parris Island or San Diego begins:
  

http://www.marines.mil/unit/tecom/mcrdparrisisland/Pages/2009/Other%20Months/ParrisIslandthroughtheeyesofnewrecruits.aspx

• Phone call home - each recruit is given the opportunity to make a quick call home - make sure your phone does not have any blocks on it as the call will come from a restricted number.  It is a scripted call, they cannot deviate from the script. You will hear yelling in the background, and your recruit may not sound like their self.   This again is normal, they are in a very new and different environment, have been traveling for possibly hours and a little nervous.  Just scream I LOVE YOU into the phone - no need to listen as this link will tell you what they are saying.

http://parrisisland.yuku.com/topic/21809/t/The-First-Phone-Call-Home.html?page=-1

• this is very important to remember - do NOT worry if you do not receive this "I'm here" phone call.   They did not lose your son/daughter/hubby/wife/bf/gf/nephew/niece/brother/sister.  There are occasions where the recruit either forgets your # or dials incorrectly, most will be too nervous to say anything so... on Tuesday mornings, in random homes across the USA there is someone scratching their head wondering what they heck that 1 AM phone call was all about. 
  

The recruits spend the first few days in RCP or Recruit Processing Platoon.  They are given haircuts, clothing, instructions - their transformation from civilian to Marine has begun.

• Start writing those letters, no you will not have an address yet, but you can start writing so that when you do - those letters are ready to go ! 
• Utilize the recruit message boards, talk to others who have experienced week 1.  I'm not going to lie, it's a tough week.  You want to know are they okay, are they homesick, are they regretting this, what are they thinking, eating, wearing, O M G how am i going to get through 13 weeks of this? 

Okay - again, it's a very emotional day for us, so cry if you want - the urge or need to cry is going to be very close to the surface.  You'll learn later on how to hide it but for now .. just cry.   Then stop and find something, anything to do.  Keeping busy is the best way to get through boot camp.    Oh wait .. you found yourself back on yuku for the millionth time today? searching out any tidbit you may have missed?  Yeah well ... message board addictions occur at an alarming rate, there is only ONE known cure - Graduation.


Now if you've done your reading.. hint hint... you will have read that Boot Camp can be a very stressful/chaotic time for recruits.   It is also a very stressful/chaotic time for loved ones.   The same basic premise for the reasoning applies to both groups.  Your recruits are being trained to be US Marines, you are being trained to be a US Marine loved one.  They are learning that the only thing they need to know is whatever the Drill Instructor tells them.

  We are learning  we no longer are the only authority in their life.   The needs of the Corps will almost always trump anything else we deem important.  You can be bitter and angry when you realize this or  learn to  accept it as your recruit has.  Lack of communication, information, knowledge is a pattern that will be repeated.   It is sometimes a hard thing to come to terms with, there is going to be a small part of what they do that we will never know about.

For the most part they are trained to not attach emotion to what they are doing - so 'how did you feel when..." is a question  that will be met with a blank stare.  They didn't feel - they just did.   Yes I know... we all want to know the magic formula to transform the civilian who had to be asked to pick up his/her socks 10 times before it was done to one who will follow his Drill Instructors order immediately and without question.  Alas, it is a deeply guarded secret.  Each Drill Instructor, while trained the same, is as different as each recruit is. What works on one recruit may not motivate another recruit.

The first night is a tough one, mostly we're worn out from the emotions of the day so we can sleep.   There's no way around the fact that your last waking thought and first in the morning will be of your recruit.  I'm really not sure how it happens, and so quickly, but every single thing that was important yesterday has taken a back seat.   You have gone into hyper focus - your thoughts are never far from Parris Island.   It's not unusual to find yourself in the midst of a conversation regarding the weather and jump in with ... hmm I wonder if it's a black flag day on PI".  The person you are speaking to will more then likely not have a clue as to what you're talking about.  Continue on as if nothing happened.  This won't be the last time, you will become quite skilled at finding a way to work your recruits name into any topic of conversation.  It becomes a high art form.

Example; Friend, " I am training to climb Mt. Everest next year",  your reply, "Wow that's nice.  I wonder if Recruit has any mountain training at boot camp.    Talk about training hard, have I told you what Recruit is doing today"?  Then whip out your handy matrix and show it to your friend.

This gets a little better as time goes on, but for the most part, yeah you're most likely a bit obsessed.  It's okay, we understand.

to be continued........